Peaceful Consumerism
As a behavioral scientist, I study relationships and although your initial reaction to my chosen career path may evoke thoughts of a gender types of relationships between men and women, I am going to demonstrate that relationships come in many types AND the human psyche reacts the same way in all types of relationships and evokes the same action or behavior as we have found in gender type relationships. In other words, there is no such thing as personal versus professional psychology. The human mind works the same way whether it is in a personal relationship or a professional relationship.
Understanding the human mind and the mechanism it uses to make decisions finds its outlet in many commercial applications such as advertising, consumer profiling, survey implementation as well as sales and marketing. It has long been my belief that people go online in search of information and not initially to buy. Only when their questions are answered do they switch to a buying mode and only when you have convinced them to buy and sold them on your product or service. But what does it really mean to convince someone to buy something…to fall in love with you…or to make any kind of decision?
When you steal ideas from one source, it's called plagiarism. When you steal ideas from many sources, it's called research. Online research can involve many sources unless you provide a reason for the customer to stay on your website. The reasons someone stays anywhere or with any brand product or service are because they are comfortable and fulfilled or what I call “Peaceful Consumerism.”
Now this may sound pretty profound but go with me on this and allow me to explain. Remember on the home page of this website I made the statement that "we live in a world of consumerism and enthertainment," which focuses our attention on SELF. I also made the statement that "consuming entities always lose". In commerce we are even referred to as consumers! Consuming entities are defined as entities that do not give back; they only take. But like in most everything we do there is good and there is bad. We cannot get away from being consumers since our very system of commerce - CAPITALISM - is defined by consumption of goods and services. But we can redefine it to where we do give back so read on and it will become clear.
The mind and body of each and every person in this world seeks peace and balance. In health, this is demonstrated in the body’s quest for equilibrium called homeostasis. In the mind it is demonstrated by what you know as sanity or rationality. Sanity and/or rationality are the result of both the use of intellect as well as the desires, emotions, and will of the subconscious mind. I'm going to talk about a demonstration in our own individual lives of the peace or appeasement that lives within each of us. This peace/appeasement is always obtainable in life, love and consumerism, but more often than not, it seems to be elusive at best. Contented customers are long term customers so I am going to demonstrate the psychology of peace/appeasement to you as it pertains to consumerism.
The word “peace” has a certain diversity in meaning when one studies the etymology of the word. Peace means WHOLENESS, UNITY, or ONENESS. It is interesting to note that the word “wholeness” is the original meaning of the word "integrity.” Appeasement is not peace but it is more commonly defined as temporary happiness.
Human beings seek oneness with each other, their environment and even the products and services that they purchase. We call this oneness communion. Communion is a state of joy with whatever it is you are one with, be it the opposite gender, your pet or something of a tangible product like a computer. We seek communion with the opposite gender in mind, body, soul and spirit and this is manifested in love. Sexual intimacy is the effect of love and not the cause of love as many people think. Communion with a product or service involves intertwining it within the fabric of one’s everyday existence. I can remember when there were no cell phones, computers and copy machines. I seemed to get by without them then, but all three have become so interwoven in my life it would cause some severe repercussions to go without them now. This joy, caused by the satisfaction and comfortable use of these products, evokes contentment as it pertains to these products. This contentment is most often in the form of subconscious contentment rather than conscious enjoyment. I am content with my cell phone. It works almost everywhere and I am able to stay in touch with my office and my patients. But I don’t really consciously enjoy my cell phone because it can be annoying when I am attempting to get something accomplished. In the study of the mind we know that all behavior/action/conduct stems from the subconscious mind, hence, whenever an attempt is made to influence decision making, the effort must be directed to subconscious interaction rather than conscious reaction.
The counterfeit to communion is what we call companionship or to be with someone or something instead of one with someone or something. It implies just simple possession and use. COMMUNION GIVES BACK; COMPANISIONSHIP ONLY TAKES! Companionship can evoke appeasement/happiness but not joy! In humans it often ends in broken relationships (both personal and commercial) since there is no oneness or permanency. The counterfeit of love is called lust. Lust needs to be renewed; love simply grows. In companionship through lustful designs, we tend to tire of our “stuff” and if it does not hold its value and worth in our subconscious mind, we tend to discard it whether it is the opposite gender, a TV set, or clothes.
In order to make another point, I would like you to answer these questions truthfully:
* Are you at peace with yourself?
* Are you at peace with all other people?
* Are you at peace with your stuff or your possessions?
Or are you just practicing appeasement? If your answer to any one of those questions is no, then the answer to all of them is actually no, because it's all about WHOLENESS.
I am often asked when I teach my Sales Psychology workshops how to lead a customer to a buying decision. My answer paraphrases Socrates who was once asked how to get to Mount Olympus. And his answer was to make sure that every step you take is in the direction of Mt. Olympus. So every word you use today in your sales copy should be in the direction of a conclusion…a buying decision…that is addressed to the subconscious mind. This conclusion is the result of ad copy that provides your customer with a sense of comfort and fulfillment, an inner contentment rather than an outward enjoyment –COMMUNION. And one that allows the customer to see the value and worth of using the product to better his/her life, make difficult tasks easier, and provide a sense of reliability. If your ad copy is addressed to the conscious mind’s wanting and possessing – more often displayed in impulse buying habits – you will eventually have an unhappy customer and a one-time buying customer at that!
Allow me to expand on my premise a little bit more. I think you will agree that most people, if asked the question what is the opposite of love, would immediately say HATE. I would say the opposite of love is the absence of love. I would also say that the opposite of lust is hate. I make a similar premise in my book, “Too Late For Fruit, Too Soon For Flowers” when I say that loneliness is not being without someone; loneliness is being without love.” When I counsel addiction patients I also discovered a very incredible premise, “Despair is not being weary of suffering; despair is being weary of pleasure.” How many other words and/or ideas do we confuse? If our understanding of words and concepts are wrong then our expression or result from their usage will be wrong.
In all of the human emotions, the most potent is fear and writing ad copy to address this most potent human emotion evokes a response, both profitable as well as not. Fear is evermore insidious than hatred, because while many, maybe most, of us can truthfully say we're not harboring hatred, few of us are without fear. Fear, simply defined, is the resultant experience where unity and wholeness are absent. Fear always evokes a response - ALWAYS. And many of these responses are even more insidious than the fear. Substance abuse, violence, rape, alcoholism are but a few as the subconscious mind seeks an outlet of relief by self-medicating itself away from the anxieties and stress caused by fear. These responses, when left unchecked, result in addiction and remember what I said, despair is not being weary of suffering; despair is being weary of pleasure! Think about this for just a minute. I can almost se the light bulb coming on in your mind.
Fear - or the absence of unity or wholenss - causes stress and anxiety, which in turn seeks an outlet of relief. This occurs in personal relationships as well as commerical relationships. In commercial applications, the fear of losing out on owning a product causes the purchase of a product. Multiple purchases can cause financial hardships or stress and will seek relief in many forms. We call these people "product junkies" and they just keep buying "stuff" whether they need the product or not. Product junkies are weary of buying things they do not need.
The human mind gravitates to the desires, emotions, and will of its psyche. The mind does not give up sensuality very easily and this is why sex sells and it sells big. Sexual addiction outpaces all other forms of addiction by a 5-to-1 ratio. It is without a doubt, the worse form of addiction today and extremely difficult to treat. So, when ad copy is written addressing and catering to the desires, emotions, and will of a person, and the sensuality that the mind craves, the results will be quite predictable.
The most potent fear is fear of lack, or fear of being without. In behavioral science we call it “scarcity thought.” People demonstrate some very profound behavior based on scarcity thought. From hoarding to theft, the resultant behavior is more often than not quite harmful. I think you have noticed a good many advertisements directed toward this human condition. From “only available to the next 10 callers,” to “while supplies last,” a sense of urgency is created and anxiety is the result only to be satisfied by purchasing whatever is being touted.
Scarcity thought patterns make us feel separation, division, competition, envy, jealousy, sometimes even hatred. More fear. More fear of lack -- more "I'm not getting enough, somebody must be getting my share and keeping me from having enough" -- enough wealth ... power ...land ... respect ... security ... enough anything. Even enough love. Eventually this pattern of thought evokes blame and victimization occurs. Today, the whole country is made up of victims. Victims of child abuse, victims of substance abuse, of destructive voluntary behavior. I am sure you can see the pervasiveness of this kind of thought. And I am sure you are aware that most ad copy is written to address and take advantage of human weakness instead of human intellect.
The moral and ethical issues notwithstanding, what is the answer to this frail human condition of fear and its resultant destructive set of behaviors? Is there a way to advertise with a more ethical objective in mind that can achieve the same results? I believe that Peaceful Consumerism is the answer and I believe this because of one simple word – CHOICE!
In behavioral science we have a saying, “Everybody is where they want to be.” Consciously you may desire to have something different but unless it is a subconscious belief it won’t happen since all behavior/action/conduct stem from the subconscious mind. In the Judeo-Christian Bible, the subconscious mind is referred to as the “heart.” Abraham Lincoln once said, “You have the right to complain, if you have the heart to help.” In other words, if the subconscious mind is determined to change a situation then change will occur but consciously complaining without choosing to correct the problem is simply dumb. Choosing correctly evokes peace…or does it?
I want to offer you a very pointed lesson. Let’s assume for a moment you are driving in your car and you accidentally cut someone off and this person erupts into a tirade of obscenities, hand gestures and the besmirching of your birthright. You maturely choose to just say you’re sorry and calmly go about your business. But does this reaction bring you peace? Many of you would say that just the opposite – letting the idiot have it right in the kisser – would evoke a better peace, so what gives?
Simply put, when we forget our communal nature and that we belong to each other, our lustful propensity to satisfy “self” attempts to dominate our psyche and scarcity thought sets in. But the choice is still there and so is the peace when you realize that the offending individual is not of the same thought level as you and it is best to climb to the higher level rather than take the easier path of lowering yourself into regretful reaction.
“The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains.”
Let’s get back to advertising and Peaceful Consumerism. I think you will agree that anyone who has studied the human mind and the mechanism it employs in its process of decision making, quickly sees that it is quite possible to take advantage of people’s weaknesses and cause them to make wrongful choices. We see this today in the seemingly never ending vicious circle of personal debt, overextended payments, and bankruptcies. The resultant anxieties and stress of these financial problems seek their outlet in various wrongful habits as the mind attempts to self-medicate itself away from the pain. Peaceful Consumerism goes way beyond the sale. The enjoyment and contentment of any purchased good or product evokes a long term commitment from the customer. The “sale” doesn’t stop at the exchange of money! In fact, the best type of sale is one that is communal and long lasting. The processes of the inner or subconscious mind are called interaction because it either involves some kind of interaction between thought and the intellect as well as the desires, emotions and will or both. The process of the conscious mind is called reaction and involves virtually no thought. If I throw a baseball at your head, you will either attempt to duck or bat it away. This is reaction; you did not have time to think about your behavior and response. In today’s world of advertising, more ad copy is being directed to the conscious mind’s reactive nature than to the subconscious mind’s interactive nature. I am sure you have heard the ad campaign that screams, “JUST DO IT!” God forbid you think about it…just do it.
Where are you? This is not a rhetorical question either. It has been said that if you are not a part of the solution then you are part of the problem. Let me give you another pointed example to help you answer the question for yourself.
Let’s take a health product I am marketing. It is an immune system booster that works very well. I am selling this product in a face-to-face sales situation to a female buyer. I present all of the salient facts and studies on my product and because she is a woman and I know women operate from an emotional plane which causes them to experience life, I get her actively involved in the sales presentation by showing her the actual packaging of the product and the point-of-sales literature as well as let her see and taste the actual product itself. As I am making my presentation she interrupts and says, “Everybody needs this product. We would have less disease in the world if people were taking this product.”
My response, “Do you take the product and do you like it?”
She looks up quickly, “Well no, I don’t take it. You can get carried away by taking all of this health stuff. Do I look sick to you?”
Now listen to what was said but more importantly what was NOT said. Like many people, she believes in health but she really doesn’t have a good deal of faith in health products. The peaceful vision of perfect health was something to strive for in the future but her negative vision of health products was in the “here and now”. It is the “here and now” images/pictures we hold which determine the quality of our existence in the future. She knew she was responsible for her future health but she didn’t believe health products could help her with the exception of them making her a healthy income. Now tell me; what benefit could she ever receive from my product if her beliefs stopped her from taking it? It was her choice to believe or disbelieve but in this case, her choice affected her future well being.
"For one who is hacking at the roots of evil, there are thousands hacking at the branches."
If you don’t go to the root of the problem – wrongful choices – then you’re hacking at the branches. In advertising, in our personal lives, in business and in thought, word and deed, we must always choose. Peaceful Consumerism requires rightful choices; ethical ad copy and safe and good products/services. Please think of the long term and the fact that the sale never stops at the exchange of money.
Peace is not a promise, my friend, it is a right. And a right must be accepted. Choose now!
All the best,
Dr. Jay
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